Research suggests that many people have a gap between their view of whether they would speak up if a situation arose where they felt they needed to speak. A majority believe that whey would summon their courage and speak up in the face of injustice, dishonesty, deceit or unfairness. Research suggests that they would not speak up. Mostly, people don’t reckon on the fear factor. When thinking about speaking up, they don’t experience the fear that will prevent them from speaking up. When the time comes to speak up, fear will rule. Do you think you would jump into a net from the third storey of a building if your floor was on fire? Would you go back into a burning house to save a pet? Would you be able to speak to an audience of several hundred people to tell them about something you know well?
A way around this is to be prepared for such situations. You can’t always prepare for the specific situation but can prepare for the fear that may come.
It starts with a thought which rapidly moves into an inhibiting fear.
Deal with it when it is still a thought. Identify is as a thought. Say to yourself “here’s the thought”. If recognised for the imposter that it is, it does not graduate to the paralysing fear. You will know what to say. “Excuse me. I don’t agree with what you are saying” will come more easily. Or ” I don’t know the answer to your question…but I will find out”.
If someone said to you “Do you know who I am ?’, you could either shrink in fear or come back with a humorous reply. ‘No but let’s look in your wallet.’
No fear of feeling inadequate or failing. Just temporary ignorance. We are all ignorant in many areas. What harm in others knowing this? Imagine the risk in having people believe that you know everything.
If you need help in presenting yourself and your ideas, I can assist in the twin skills of Public Speaking or Influencing Skills. Contact me if you want training or personal coaching.
Paddy Spruce
www.paddyspruce.com.au
