I think it was JFK who said that he was willing to forgive but never forgot a face. Forgiving is generous and helpful to all parties. Forgetting means that you don’t learn from the occasion.
If you feel wronged or hurt or disappointed by someone’s actions in the past, you carry this with you and it affects all your actions with others. You were lied to by a car salesman and don’t trust any salespeople anymore.
You release yourself when you forgive someone. They don’t need to know and you don’t need to forget what happened. They are not getting off the hook. They may not even know that you feel aggrieved. You don’t have to like them.
So for Christmas, think of someone who you can forgive for a past wrong. Let it go. You still learn from the experience but don’t waste emotional energy. They will have their reasons for behaving the way they did and their view will be very different from yours.
I have met people who don’t like someone because of something they did… but can’t remember exactly what they did.
Give yourself a present this Christmas. Forgive someone who has wronged you in the past and move on. You get immediate benefits. The emotional energy tied up in this situation is released to be used somewhere more constructive.
Have a Great Christmas.
Paddy Spruce