So many people want more confidence or less fear. Some want to be fearless. Fear is a warning so fearless is like turning off your fire alarm. It is better to leave the alarm on and live with fear as if it is meant to keep you safe. Now, what if your mind makes some activities seem more dangerous than they really are, like public speaking. Our reaction to public speaking can feel the same as something really dangerous like handling a poisonous snake or repairing your own electrical appliances. Our mind tells us that something is really dangerous and we react. The mind doesn’t differentiate between speaking at a birthday party and sticking a fork in a toaster.
We can live with fear. We can manage it and still perform. We need to treat it as a thought or feeling and recognise that it is trying to help not paralyse. When the fear arises, say to yourself “Thanks for the warning”. You are then in a better position to decide whether what you are about to do is really dangerous or not. Speaking to a group of any size is not dangerous whatever your mind tells you. If you can speak to one person, you can speak to many.
Try a dry run. Imagine yourself about to speak an audience a little larger than is comfortable for you. As you get the warning thought or feeling, say “Thanks for the warning”. Keep breathing. Rinse and repeat. Eventually you will learn that thoughts are merely thoughts. Some are helpful and some are not. Keep the helpful ones. Ask the others to wait in the waiting room.
Fear is good and can be very helpful. You decide whether to heed the warning or not. Fearless is foolish.
