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Choice lowers defences

December 19, 2016 by Paddy Spruce

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I am sure  you know that we are mostly hard wired to defend when attacked. If you argue with someone or interrupt them you will get resistance. Resistance that you have caused. You are also suggesting that they are wrong…and you are right or superior. Why would you be surprised that people push back? We have been doing it for a very long time. You may even be surprised how dogmatic you become under attack.

An alternative is to offer people choices. Choices that are acceptable to you. Preferably, offer two choices where both are acceptable to you and  to the other person. Offering choices leaves the final choice in the hands of the other person and you are less controlling or pushy. You may suggest which choice suits you best but you may sound a bit pushy and cause them to lean towards the other choice.

Use the other person’s resources and decision making prowess by offering acceptable choices rather than threatening ones.

You know what is feels like to be offered only one choice. It does sound like ‘my way or the highway’.

Try it next time you need something from someone. Make sure the choices are acceptable or attractive to the other person….and you too.

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Paddy is located in Melbourne, Australia and welcomes requests from beyond.

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