This is a terrifying question, don’t you think? Almost as terrifying is ‘Can you give me some feedback on what I need to change’? Sometimes feedback is vague and unhelpful. We can make it more specific by asking questions like ‘what specifically do you want me to change?’
Before asking this question, you need to be prepared to accept what is said. If you defend yourself, you don’t get any benefit or detail. Try this…
Breathe in just after asking the question.
Tell yourself that the feedback is to help you improve and is only about your behaviour, not you personally.
Tell yourself that it is better to get the feedback directly to your face than behind your back.
Be grateful that this person is trying to help you.
Remember there is no progress without feedback of some sort. It is all neutral and sometimes the feedback that we may call negative is the most helpful.
You have got nothing to lose by asking ‘Can you give me some feedback on what I need to improve or change?’
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