Blog

The secret to improvement in ball games like golf and tennis is to watch the ball. Sounds too simple don’t you think? This focus and intention helps the mind to see what is important and ignore distractions. ‘Watch the ball ‘also applies to every thing we do. When listening to another, this focused attention will help us to hear what is being said and not said. When observing, it helps us to see more and more clearly. Multi- tasking prevents us from seeing and hearing properly.Watching the ball is a good life habit. Be where you are. See what you see and hear what you hear 100% instead of dividing your attention.

Try this. Look at something like a tree, flower or bird. Really look. If you get distracted, gently nudge your attention back. Try the same when listening to someone. This habit of focusing will help your ball games…and your life.

It certainly helps Roger and Rafa.

I know it is premature to thank people for the help they gave you during lockdown but there is no harm in thanking people twice. Once now and again when this is really over. The recovery in this State has been extraordinary and the work done by everyone has bordered on heroic. You will know who has helped you personally. You can also acknowledge the work of many especially health professionals, police and military.

When this is over we will get back to normal quickly and may forget to say Thanks. We really did work together to get this result.

Now is a good time to show your gratitude at every opportunity that comes your way.

Rather than a New Year Resolution how about a ‘coming out of lockdown resolution?’

COVID and lockdown have been positive and negative. There have clearly been some positives. Many have felt the benefits of working from home and travelling less.

This is a good time to decide which new behaviours and practices you want to keep. What to you want to keep doing online? How can you stay in touch with friends and family? Maybe you were zooming people and now have the chance to see them face to face. Did you spend less? Were you happy with what you have and gave up on wanting more as the way to happiness. Did you walk more and greet neighbours?

It will be easy to lose the positives of lockdown and move onto another normal. Make sure you make a resolution to keep what was helpful. The old normal was Ok but we can move to a better normal and keep the benefits of an enforced lockdown

Maybe list the benefits and decide how to behave to make them habits.

If there was a place where your past didn’t matter and you had no concerns for the future, would you go there? A place where people would listen to you without judging or jumping ahead of what you are saying. A place where you could be content with what you have without wanting more or better. A place where you could explore your surrounds in detail and maybe even enjoy the small stuff with your senses freed from thinking. Just sensing or feeling without mental interference. Somewhere where time stands still at least for a few moments.

There is such a place. It is now. It is the present. Try visiting.

Imagine if you had lenses that had a bias towards kindness. Imagine if kindness coloured every situation you encountered. You could start the conversation with ‘Is there a reason why you haven’t been able to meet the deadline this month?’ instead of assuming laziness or a lack of professionalism and launching into ‘I am tired of chasing you to meet deadlines… you are on a warning etc.’

Kindness is how we support another’s vulnerability. Kind actions are offered without expectation of anything in return. You are also less likely to get a defensive response. Listening with kind intention is more likely to encourage others to speak up and hide less.

It is not weakness. We show the other person that we care about them and that ourself and their self are connected. We are not so different and certainly not superior. We read so much about how we are all so different in so many ways. Kind intention dissolve this myth.

Try the lenses  of kind intention for a day…or a week.

There was an oracle in Delphos long ago. It was at a Temple. People made appointments and met with the oracle who was a woman. You asked some questions and she made prophecies. She was very popular. There were three requirements if you wanted a personal appointment. The first was ‘Know yourself’. It was written large at the front entrance. No point going to see her if you didn’t know yourself. Imagine having to think about who you are when you wanted to know about your future. Lucky you don’t get asked this question when you apply for a job or a loan. So, who are you and how do you find out? You aren’t what you do. Your behaviour will give you some clues. Your values will also offer more clues. What is really important to you? If you make it to one hundred, what do you wish you had done more or less of? What are you proud of and what do you regret? I suspect you have more chance of figuring out who you really are if you get rid of some of the layers or armour plating. Stuff like how you want others to see you, your ego, your ambition…all the stuff your mind  dreams up to define you. Maybe if you shed these layers, you will discover who is really in there.

You may feel lonely if you need others to notice who you are. If you know who you are, you can be alone. You can enjoy your own company instead of trying to impress others.

The pandemic is coming to an end and your opportunity for reflection may pass when we get busy again. Use the remaining time to shed the layers and discover who you really are. Take off the armour and be you. Others may be surprised. You will be content.