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Aren’t we fortunate to live here during these trying times. Not to be smug but we are so fortunate to be able to enjoy a near normal Christmas while others are heading into harder times.

Thank you for being a regular reader. I hope my information is helpful.

I am not a fan of New Year Resolutions but I have one anyway.

I understand that the human brain can process about 110 bits per second. A conversation takes about half of this computing power so we can do two things at once but not very well. If you focus on one sense entirely it will seem brighter, tastier, more colourful and more enjoyable. Try eating something and just focus on the taste. Give all 110 bits to a conversation and hear more. Some will be missing if you divide your attention.

Make 2021 the year when you will give your full attention to everything you do. Also try viewing everything through kind lenses. Hold the judgement. Assume kind motives to others. This will help you listen better and become more focused.

Enjoy Christmas and ease into the New Normal.

Best wishes.

Paddy

The secret to improvement in ball games like golf and tennis is to watch the ball. Sounds too simple don’t you think? This focus and intention helps the mind to see what is important and ignore distractions. ‘Watch the ball ‘also applies to every thing we do. When listening to another, this focused attention will help us to hear what is being said and not said. When observing, it helps us to see more and more clearly. Multi- tasking prevents us from seeing and hearing properly.Watching the ball is a good life habit. Be where you are. See what you see and hear what you hear 100% instead of dividing your attention.

Try this. Look at something like a tree, flower or bird. Really look. If you get distracted, gently nudge your attention back. Try the same when listening to someone. This habit of focusing will help your ball games…and your life.

It certainly helps Roger and Rafa.

I know it is premature to thank people for the help they gave you during lockdown but there is no harm in thanking people twice. Once now and again when this is really over. The recovery in this State has been extraordinary and the work done by everyone has bordered on heroic. You will know who has helped you personally. You can also acknowledge the work of many especially health professionals, police and military.

When this is over we will get back to normal quickly and may forget to say Thanks. We really did work together to get this result.

Now is a good time to show your gratitude at every opportunity that comes your way.

Rather than a New Year Resolution how about a ‘coming out of lockdown resolution?’

COVID and lockdown have been positive and negative. There have clearly been some positives. Many have felt the benefits of working from home and travelling less.

This is a good time to decide which new behaviours and practices you want to keep. What to you want to keep doing online? How can you stay in touch with friends and family? Maybe you were zooming people and now have the chance to see them face to face. Did you spend less? Were you happy with what you have and gave up on wanting more as the way to happiness. Did you walk more and greet neighbours?

It will be easy to lose the positives of lockdown and move onto another normal. Make sure you make a resolution to keep what was helpful. The old normal was Ok but we can move to a better normal and keep the benefits of an enforced lockdown

Maybe list the benefits and decide how to behave to make them habits.

If there was a place where your past didn’t matter and you had no concerns for the future, would you go there? A place where people would listen to you without judging or jumping ahead of what you are saying. A place where you could be content with what you have without wanting more or better. A place where you could explore your surrounds in detail and maybe even enjoy the small stuff with your senses freed from thinking. Just sensing or feeling without mental interference. Somewhere where time stands still at least for a few moments.

There is such a place. It is now. It is the present. Try visiting.

Imagine if you had lenses that had a bias towards kindness. Imagine if kindness coloured every situation you encountered. You could start the conversation with ‘Is there a reason why you haven’t been able to meet the deadline this month?’ instead of assuming laziness or a lack of professionalism and launching into ‘I am tired of chasing you to meet deadlines… you are on a warning etc.’

Kindness is how we support another’s vulnerability. Kind actions are offered without expectation of anything in return. You are also less likely to get a defensive response. Listening with kind intention is more likely to encourage others to speak up and hide less.

It is not weakness. We show the other person that we care about them and that ourself and their self are connected. We are not so different and certainly not superior. We read so much about how we are all so different in so many ways. Kind intention dissolve this myth.

Try the lenses  of kind intention for a day…or a week.