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Most people can terrify themselves with their thoughts. Imagine that you are about to speak to a group and the MC starts to introduce you... Does the thought enter your mind, uninvited, that you might make a fool of yourself or forget what you are going to say or both? And do you now feel panicky?

We don’t have a lot of control over our thoughts and feelings. They often visit uninvited or unannounced. Some of these thoughts are useful. Some are very disruptive and worse than useless. People used to think that we could get rid of these thoughts by simply telling them to go away. Like telling a dog to stop barking in the middle of the night. The thought does go away... for a while.

Here is a simple but very effective technique that I have learned from Dr.Russ Harris. In his book, called ‘The Happiness Trap’, he suggests that accepting the thought is a much more effective way of dealing with the situation than trying to get rid of it.

First step, we need to recognize that we are dealing with a thought and not reality or truth. Who knows where the thought came from and who cares? If we accept the thought as reality we can frighten ourselves. If we recognize it as merely a thought, it loses its power over us.

Here’s the technique:

When a disruptive thought arrives, say to yourself ‘Here’s the thought about making a fool of myself in front of an audience’. You are identifying it as a thought and taking away its link with reality. You might also like to try ‘Thanks for this thought about forgetting what I am going to say’. Either way, you are calling it what it is, a thought. As it passes, you can look for more useful thoughts like ‘This is a friendly audience who want me to succeed’.

So... disengage from the useless thoughts. Don’t try to get rid of them. Accept them for what they are. Just thoughts. Engage useful thoughts like 'This is a good audience... who want me to do well... and learn from me'.

People used to believe that we had a lot of control over our thoughts and feelings. In truth, we have much more control over our actions. Accept the thoughts as only thoughts and they will blow away like clouds in light breeze.

Those of us who can speak need to speak for those that can’t. Without fear or disruptive thoughts.

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